It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: "The Gang Gets Quarantined"

It’s rare to see the four younger members of the gang cooperating on one single project, yet “The Gang Gets Quarantined” starts off with them working together on an a cappella rendition of Philly music group Boyz II Men’s “Motownphilly”. Dennis is the leader of the group, claiming everything sounds “horrible”, and that they need a lot more work if they are going to win a chance to open for the R&B group at their upcoming concert. This, naturally, turns into an argument within the group, with the others thinking they are harmonizing greatly. This is when Frank bursts in, claiming that this year’s flu is spreading through Philadelphia like wildfire. The gang becomes panicked, for, as Dennis questions, what can’t you do when you’re sick? “Sing”, the gang fills in, much to Dennis’ dismay, as he hoped to answer the question himself. They are left with one option, to place themselves into quarantine.

Frank is the most adamant about the rules of this quarantine, forbidding Dee from ordering a pizza, for pizza men are the prime carriers of sickness. After all, “They’re going house to house, handling money, and banging lonely broads!” The gang becomes irate when Dennis demands that they also refrain from drinking alcohol, in an attempt to save their vocal chords.

The second day of the quarantine arrives, and Mac, Dee, and Charlie have taken to developing a backstory for their group in order to help sway the judges of the vocal contest. They settle on being stuttering war veterans from the south, who are also carnies, for one reason or another. As they continue to add layers to their story, Frank comes out with a found pizza box. Dennis plans to get to the bottom of this, as he picks up the phone to call the pizza place to figure out who placed the order, which he claims the place says the name left was Spiderman. Frank then tells how he cut the chords to the phones after they began the quarantine, which leads Charlie to the realization that Dennis must be Spiderman. This culminates in a characteristic speech from Dennis, where he claims that he has such control of his body that he can go from flaccid to erect on a whim, which Mac instantly backs up as fact, for he’s seen it. For breaching the quarantine, Dennis is locked into the bathroom against his will.

Frank starts to throw away food and shaves his head, and comes to an epiphany where purity comes from total hairlessness. Mac and Charlie go for a food run, wearing bubble boy suits that Charlie and his mom used to wear when he was younger, with his mother’s being equipped with a pouch in the helmet for her booze. Mac tears his while showing Charlie his dance moves, and Charlie promises to not tell Frank. Back at the bar, Dee is caught eating food and drinking beer that she had stashed in the ceiling of the office, which gets her placed into quarantine with Dennis, who looks very sick. Frank starts getting super into hand-sanitizer, rubbing it all over his arms. Shortly after, Mac is put into quarantine as well after he sneezes and panics, with Charlie yelling to Frank all about his breach. He is followed by Charlie, who voluntarily places himself into the bathroom after Frank attempts to shave his head. He sees Dennis, who is far sicker than before, and nonchalantly proclaims “Oh, you’re going to die, dude”. Charlie determines that if he’s going down, he’d rather go down drinking, as he produces three bottles of bleach that he has filled with whiskey. They all sit down and drink together, and naturally a few hours later are all feeling better. It turns out that none of them ever had the flu, and were simply suffering from alcohol withdrawal, where they realize that they are all alcoholics. Charlie reveals that he had a key to the door the entire time, and they go back into the bar to find a trail of slime. They follow it to find Frank, down his underwear, hairless, and covered in sanitizer, crawling around the ground pining for pureness. When they bring him to the hospital, they find out that the concert has been cancelled due to the members of Boyz II Men coming down with the flu. Naturally, the gang leaves Frank to go drink back at Paddy’s, which is where they belong.